a trans memoir

Becoming a Man is the striking memoir of P. Carl’s journey to become the man he always knew himself to be. Carl’s quest to become himself and to reckon with his masculinity mirrors, in many ways, the challenge before the country as a whole, to imagine a society where every member can have a vibrant, livable life. 

Photo by Ryan Pfluger

Check out Becoming A Man in the New York times magazine

"There were so many political ramifications of this new body — ramifications I both knew but couldn’t know until I began to live them."

What People are Saying


  “Carl writes with the directness and intimacy we yearn to encounter in conversation. Becoming a Man is a memoir that is jolting, honest, passionate and beautifully written.”

—Claudia Rankine

“Raw and honest, probing and skeptical, P. Carl’s Becoming a Man is thoroughly compelling—a deeply moving meditation on love, loss, and what makes a self.” 

—Elizabeth Kolbert

“In Becoming a Man, P. Carl movingly and incisively conveys experiences that range from self-perception to mortality itself; experiences that matter to all of us, regardless of our sexual identities.  Becoming a Man is a profound human story.” 

— Michael Cunningham

"Becoming a Man is a fierce and thoughtful memoir of a transitioning body. In grappling with his own biology, gender theory, politics, and relationships, P. Carl has proven himself an indispensable voice in the conversation around gender identity. His story is a galvanizing call to action: to love, embrace, and fight for transgender lives."

—Jill Soloway, creator and showrunner of Transparent


“This book is both is devastatingly honest and a joyful triumph. P. Carl communicates empathy on a cellular level. Everyone interested in gender, the body, and the resilience of the human spirit should read his book. It is rare for a book to equally address the gut, the mind, the heart and the body with so much insight, honesty and love. Not only a memoir of a transition, this book is a searing look at what it means to be a man in America in 2019.”

—Sarah Ruhl, playwright of The Clean House


"His reflective memories often read like poetry…This moving narrative illuminates the joy, courage, necessity, and risk-taking of his gender transition and the ways his loved ones became affected and eventually enriched by it. A passionate, eloquent memoir about how 'complex stories of humanity [and] our capacity for imagination are what give us hope.'"


"Carl’s honest, timely musings illustrate the deep ruminations that can arise about one’s assigned gender at birth and the gender one becomes. Carl’s thoughts about sexuality and his compassionate feelings for sexual assault survivors will captivate readers from the first page to the last."

—Publishers Weekly 

"...P. Carl bravely charts his gender transition journey. A memoir that asks big questions about self, relationships, and the world we live in, it is deeply personal, yet wholly universal."

—Popsugar's 22 of the Best Books this Winter has to Offer  

"In a scrupulously honest memoir, P. Carl examines how his transition upended both his marriage and his notions of white masculinity."

— O Magazine's 31 LGBTQ Books That'll Change the Literary Landscape in 2020


— O Magazine's 16 of the Best Books to Read this January

"P. Carl has written a candid, intimate and moving memoir about his gender transition in our current cultural moment and how it affected his relationships, his inner and outer identities and his place within the world."

— MS Magazine's Reads for the Rest of Us: Feminist Books Coming Out in 2020

(Photo by Asia  Kepka)

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